But I'm An Ambivert! Clearing Up The Introvert/Extrovert Confusion

I love this response from people after they take personality assessments.

My result says I'm an extrovert/introvert, but I'm really an ambivert.

Well...duh! Of course you're an ambivert! We're all ambiverts! The likelihood any individual is a pure extrovert or introvert is, like, less than 0.1%!

I understand the world through memes.

All personality traits are generally observed on a scale. Some people are very extroverted, some are very introverted, and most others clump somewhere in the middle. In the sciences, we call this a normal distribution, and we can represent it with a bell curve, like the one below.

Some people become ecstatic when they encounter a perfect bell curve.

The bell curve shows us where we can expect a majority of outcomes to fall. The further an outcome gets from the middle, the less common it is, or what we call outliers. In the image above, 68.26% of a population falls in that middle area of the curve (Or within one standard deviation of the mean. And that's it - no more statistics!). We can use this for introverted vs. extroverted members of a society, political identity in a two-party system, outcomes on a standardized test, the list goes on.

When you get a result back from an assessment and it says you are an introvert or an extrovert, it is a tendency, not a fact. Extroverts still need time to themselves, and introverts still have very close friendships and people they want to spend time with—that is the definition of an ambivert. So yeah, of course you are an ambivert—we all are!

However, here is the real danger with the simple introvert/extrovert label - it has been overgeneralized. People hear extrovert and they assume a person who needs to be the center of attention and to always be talking. They are also assumed to be flakey, inconsistent, and to not care about others. On the flip side, we hear introvert and immediately think shy and, if we are being completely honest, weak. Introverts are assumed to not be able to stand up for themselves and to be doormats. We all know this is not true. We can think of numerous examples from our lives that disprove these assumptions. Heck, YOU likely disprove these assumptions.

So, then why even talk about introversion and extroversion in personality? In the world of Jungian psychological typing and Myers & Briggs, your personality is made up of cognitive functions (they are either perceiving or judging functions). Each of the cognitive functions can be either introverted or extroverted, and every individual leads with a single cognitive function. Really, all that your Myers-Briggs type tells you is what your leading two cognitive functions are. So introverts tend to lead with an introverted function and extroverts tend to lead with an extroverted function, and then their second function is the opposite introversion/extroversion of their first function. This is why everyone is extroverted sometimes and introverted at other times.

Instead of thinking of introversion/extroversion as outward displays of behavior, like the earlier assumptions, let's think of them as a direction of energy. People with introverted personalities tend to direct their energy inward toward themselves and their experiences, while extroverts tend to direct their energy outward to the experiences of other people. This is the definition that Jung uses in his book Psychological Types, which is the basis for all of this.

Let's explore this through an example. In Myers & Briggs, 16Personalities, Keirsey, and everything else based on Jung's work, we tend to group the 16 personalities into four groups, like what follows.

I have used the 16Personalities colors with the Keirsey temperament types just to make it confusing. You are welcome.

You would think that personality types grouped this way would be similar, and they kind of are...and yet they aren't. Let's randomly take an example—ENFJs and INFPs. At first, they share a similarity in that their perceiving function is Intuition, and their decision-making, or judging, function is Feeling—but that is where their similarities end. To understand why, we need to look at their cognitive stacks.

• ENFJ: Fe-Ni-Se-Ti

• INFP: Fi-Ne-Si-Te

We first notice that their cognitive stacks are in the same order—Feeling, Intuition, Sensing, and Thinking. Based on this alone, you would think they would be very similar. However, they have opposite introverted/extroverted versions of each of those functions. A comparison of these two profiles reveals a number of differences, but the first and most significant is in their primary function. ENFJs lead with Extroverted Feeling (Fe) - they are keenly aware of what others feel, cultural norms, accepted behaviors, and the vibes of a group. They use this extroverted (outward-looking) awareness to help make decisions based on the group's feelings. INFPs, however, lead with Introverted Feeling (Fi) - they are keenly aware of their personal feelings and values and use this understanding of themselves to be empathetic with others. They use this introverted (inward-looking) awareness to make decisions based on what they feel is suitable at that moment. This is where the stereotype of the ENFJ being super outgoing and interpersonal comes from. The same with the stereotype of INFPs always appearing to be lost in thought. Their energy is going in different directions when it comes to their primary cognitive function despite both personalities leading with Feeling.

Now, I know what you are thinking - I started this whole post out with the argument that there are no such things as pure introverts or extroverts. Where is this going? Don't worry - I hear you!

We know that ENFJs lead with an extroverted function and INFPs lead with an introverted function, so let's go to their second function. As mentioned above and elsewhere, whatever your first function is (introverted or extroverted), your second function will be the opposite. This means that ENFJs use Introverted Intution (Ni), and INFPs use Extroverted Intution (Ne). This is why we are all ambiverts. While ENFJs make decisions based on everyone around them (extroversion), they focus inwardly (introversion) to think through, understand, and interpret the world. INFPs, on the other hand, make decisions based on their feelings and values (introversion), but they have an outward focus (extroversion) when it comes to perceiving and understanding the world. INFPs are more agile with noticing patterns in the moment, can solve challenges on the fly, and are usually adept at articulating their ideas and observations to others. They see connections in the world around them without needing to internalize them.

And this balance of introversion-extroversion applies to every personality type. There are some places I have read that say your first two functions make up 90% of your personality. I have no idea how accurate that is, but your first two functions are definitely in charge. However, of the two, your primary function is the one that is driving the bus, and this is why we say people are introverts or extroverts when we are all really just ambiverts at different points on a scale.

So there you go - you are and will always be an ambivert. Sometimes, you will be introverted, and other times, you will be extroverted. It depends on what you are doing and what part of your brain you are using at that moment.

So what does this matter to you and figuring out your life? It is important to understand when we have a tendency toward introversion and when we have a tendency toward extroversion. Using the personality examples from earlier, ENFJs will tend toward being outspoken, visionary leaders of groups, while INFPs will do better in smaller, more intimate settings where they can help lead problem-solving ventures and explain concepts to others. Understanding this will help you find where you fit in and where you can better express your strengths.

Did you enjoy this? Good! I just scratched the surface when it comes to introverted and extroverted functions! I'm looking forward to comparing each of the functions on their introverted/extroverted scale and how they show up in the world. Why? Because understanding ourselves is the first step in understanding how to find a career or community where we will thrive!

Plus, as someone who has Extroverted Sensing (Se) instead of Introverted Sensing (Si) in their cognitive stack, it helps to explain my terrible memory.

With love,

Tom Chapman, TruePath Discovery Coaching

Ready to learn more? Check out these other popular blog posts!

• Setting Yourself Apart: Developing and Tapping Into Your Creativity

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• Introduction to the Tools for Self-Discovery: MBTI

• Noticing the World Around Us: Perceiving Cognitive Functions and How They Work

• Making Decisions in the World: Judging Cognitive Functions and How They Work

• Introduction to the Tools for Self-Discovery: Enneagram

• The Enneagram and You: Where to Start

• Enneagram or Myers-Briggs Type Indicator? Why Not Both!

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