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The other day, I was reading along and came upon a short article on fostering resilience. The power of resilience is a major cornerstone in our lives. Resilience is the inner strength that transforms adversity into opportunities for growth. Today, I will talk to you about the art of resilience, exploring its essence and learning how to utilize your strength in facing life's challenges.
The Resilience Revolution
Our life is a grand journey, and every moment is a stepping stone on your path. Some moments will be full of triumph, while others will be full of challenge, or even failure. No matter how much we plan for our lives, we will face moments where our failure seems too great to recover from. In this grand narrative and in these challenging moments, resilience is your trusty companion, the unwavering ally that empowers you to face adversity head-on.
A Lesson from Nature
A great example from nature teaches us the essence of resilience. Picture a glorious oak tree standing against the winds of a storm. It sways and bends, buffeted by these strong winds, but does not break. The oak demonstrates the spirit of resilience. It is not about an unyielding strength that does not accept defeat but about being flexible, about weathering life's storms without losing your core essence. It is about knowing you will bounce back.
The Anatomy of Resilience
Resilience is not a one-size-fits-all concept. Resilience is a complex interplay of thoughts, emotions, and actions that allow individuals to navigate life's challenges. Let's break it down into its fundamental components.
1. Emotional Resilience
Emotions can be both a joy and a challenge. The emotions we experience communicate a knowledge that we can not tap into with our other senses. Emotional resilience is the ability to acknowledge, understand, and manage these emotions, even in the face of adversity. It is about not letting negativity, fear, or despair hold you captive. While we may experience these negative emotions (and it is normal to experience them), we do not let them rule our lives. Instead, we embrace our emotions as messengers, guiding us through life's twists and turns.
The Power of Emotional Awareness
Start by becoming intimately acquainted with your emotions. When you face a challenge, pause and ask yourself, "What am I feeling right now?" Are you overwhelmed with fear, sadness, or frustration? Acknowledging these emotions is the first step toward emotional resilience.
2. Mental Resilience
Our minds are remarkably adaptable. Mental resilience involves creating a mindset that understands the growth found in our setbacks. It's about nurturing thoughts that empower rather than hinder, thoughts that see challenges as opportunities for growth.
The Role of Perspective
Shift your perspective from a fixed to a growth mindset. Instead of seeing challenges as insurmountable obstacles, view them as chances to learn and evolve. When life throws you a curveball, ask yourself, "What can I gain from this experience? How can I use this setback as a stepping stone toward my goals?" Consider, though, that a setback will likely bring on negative emotions. Resilience is not ignoring these emotions, but acknowledging and experiencing them, and when you are ready, to grow from them.
3. Physical Resilience
Physical resilience involves taking care of your body, ensuring it remains robust and ready to tackle whatever challenges come your way. It is listening to your body when it is tired or injured and acknowledging when you need to give it rest. Resilience is not powering through an injury, but acknowledging the care you will need to give your body to recover from it.
The Foundation of Health
Physical resilience involves caring for your body, ensuring it remains robust and ready to tackle whatever challenges come your way. It is listening to your body when it is tired or injured and acknowledging when you need to give it rest. Resilience is not powering through an injury but acknowledging the care you need to give your body to recover.
The Art of Building Resilience
Resilience is not a fixed trait - it is a skill that can be cultivated and honed over time. Here is an outline to help guide you on your journey.
1. Cultivate Self-Awareness
Just about everything starts with understanding yourself. What are your strengths and weaknesses? What triggers your stress or anxiety? Self-awareness is the key to understanding how you react to adversity and lays the foundation for building resilience.
The Power of Journaling
Consider keeping a journal to track your thoughts and emotions. Journaling can reveal patterns and help you identify areas of strength and growth. Through reflection, you will learn a great deal about yourself.
2. Embrace Change
The only guarantee in life is change. Resilience blossoms when you learn to acknowledge your constant state of change rather than resist it. Flexibility is your guide through the challenges life presents us.
The Growth in Transition
Whenever life takes an unexpected turn, remind yourself that change is a catalyst for growth. Instead of clinging to the past or dreading the future, focus on the present moment. What can you learn from this transition? How can you adapt and thrive in this new reality? Allow yourself the emotion and the experience, and then begin to grow.
3. Develop a Support System
No one embarks on a quest alone. Surround yourself with supportive individuals who uplift and encourage you during challenging times. Seek solace in their wisdom and strength. It does not need to be a big group. Even one or two individuals can remind us of our strengths.
The Strength of Connection
Be open to meaningful connections. Share your challenges and triumphs with trusted friends or family members. Vulnerability is not a weakness. Vulnerability is a testament to your strength and authenticity.
4. Set Realistic Goals
Resilience flourishes when you have clear goals that propel you forward. It exists even in the face of adversity. Set realistic objectives that align with your values and passions. And when you create these goals, focus on process over product. Our goals should be within our control to achieve. We may hope to become a champion or reach a certain earning potential, but these outcomes are out of our control. The only thing we can control is our actions. If we change our goal instead to practicing and preparing like a champion, we have changed our goal into something we can control. This process goal is more likely to produce the tangible outcome we seek. I learned this as a musician - if I made musicality my focus, improved technique would follow. If I started from technique I would never be musical, and the technique will flounder.
The Power of Purpose
Purpose infuses your journey with meaning. When you encounter setbacks, your sense of purpose becomes your guiding star. It reminds you why you embarked on this adventure in the first place.
5. Learn from Adversity
Every challenge is a teacher offering lessons that can strengthen your resilience. Instead of viewing adversity as an enemy, treat it as a mentor. This idea reminds me of the following passage from John Dewey's Art As Experience.
Nor without resistance from surroundings would the self become aware of itself; it would have neither feeling nor interest, neither fear nor hope, neither disappointment nor elation. Mere opposition that completely thwarts, creates irritation and rage. But resistance that calls out thought generates curiosity and solicitous care, and, when it is overcome and utilized, eventuates elation.
That is a mouthful! Essentially, Dewey is observing a universal truth - by facing challenges and resistance, we will discover our strengths and reach our full potential. We become stronger and more fully ourselves. By meeting these challenges, we will grow more than we thought possible.
The Wisdom in Reflection
After you overcome a hurdle, take time to reflect. What did you learn from this experience? How did it shape you? Embrace the wisdom that adversity imparts, for it is a precious gift.
Resilience in Action
Let us look at an example of resilience. There are so many to choose from. The Stoic Epictetus started his life as a slave and rose to become one of the most prominent philosophers in history. Pilot James Stockdale was shot down in the Vietnam War and spent eight years in a prisoner-of-war camp where his captors subjected him to routine torture. Helen Keller lost her vision and hearing to disease at 19 months old and went on to be an author, disability rights advocate, lecturer, and political activist (whose activism included suffragism, pacifism, radical socialism, birth control, and helped found the American Civil Liberties Union). Each of these is an incredible story, and I encourage you to learn more about each of these individuals.
For this example, though, I will go a little less grand and more every day. I want to tell a story from my life. As I mentioned before, I was a public school music teacher for 15 years and had a joyful and successful career in that realm. In order to become a teacher, you need to major in two subjects in college - education and the subject you wish to teach. For me, this was instrumental music. I am a trumpet player, so my musical study in college focused on that instrument. However, despite success in high school, I floundered in college. I could not break out of the lower ensembles and into the middle of the trumpet studio. An audition panel determines ensemble placements by auditions. Players in their first year of study are in competition against graduate students who have dedicated their lives to their instrument. And at the University of Northern Colorado, while I was there, there were 50 trumpet students, over 10 of which were graduate students.
After spending my junior year in another lower ensemble, I gave myself an ultimatum - either rise to the next ensemble or change my major. With my goal in place, I proceeded to make a plan. While I envisioned a desired outcome, what I needed was a change in process. Over the summer, I made it a goal to approach everything I did as if I were a professional player. Everything I played I played as musically as possible. I made a daily schedule for practicing, including that day's goals and plan. I selected challenging audition music and worked it to the point that I understood it inside and out. That fall, determined, I played the best audition I had given up. I accomplished my goal, moved up to my dream ensemble, moved up in the studio, and was able to study with the lead trumpet professor.
This mindset shift went beyond that audition. It affected how I approached everything in music and teaching. My growth over the year exploded. My peers asked me to join more performances. Graduate students began to recognize my ability. The following year, still pursuing my musical mindset, I made greater improvements, falling just shy of making the top band at UNC. Bolstered by my success and confidence, I even considered pursuing a master's degree in trumpet performance. While I ultimately decided to teach instead of perform, the mindset and resilience I developed have stuck with me after so many hurdles and failures. It is important to note that hard work does not guarantee results. I think of this quote from the Bhagavad Gita when I think of hard work: "You have a right to perform your prescribed duties, but you are not entitled to the fruits of your actions."
The Resilient Future
Our lives, resilience included, is not a destination but a continuous journey. Life will test, challenge, and sometimes push you to your limits. Through these challenges, you will find that within you resides a wellspring of strength waiting to be tapped. Nurture your emotional, mental, and physical resilience, and you can emerge from life's trials as a wiser, stronger, and more empowered version of yourself.
With each challenge you conquer, you draw closer to unveiling your true potential. Embrace the uncertainties of life with courage. These challenges are the workshops where you forge your resilience. Know that you have the strength to persevere. And, whatever it may look like, show up for yourself after your challenges and adversities. Know that small victories are still victories. It is making that first phone call after a failed business venture. Or it is getting out of bed despite your grief over the death of a loved one. Resilience is not bouncing back perfectly but consistently showing up for yourself however you can.
I'll leave you with this quote from Winston Churchill.
I hope your life's journey is filled with resilience and that you remain unbreakable as you face your challenges.
Ready to practice resilience and build a more fulfilling life? Reach out today, and we will get started moving you from overwhelm and uncertainty to clarity and direction.
Tom Chapman, TruePath Discovery Coaching
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