Aug 58 min read

What We Value, What I Value - The Feeling Functions In Your Life (Extroverted Feeling vs. Introverted Feeling)

Here it is, the last blog post breaking down cognitive functions! So far, I have shared about both the perceiving functions, Sensing and Intuition, and the first judging function, Thinking, and what they mean to you (you know...career, hobbies, jobs, friends, etc.). This week, we are exploring the final judging (decision-making) function, Feeling.

Sensation establishes what is actually present, thinking enables us to recognize its meaning, feeling tells us its value, and intuition points to possibilities as to whence it came and wither it is going in a given situation. (From Jung's Psychological Types)

But first, why does this even matter?

If you want to design your perfect life, you need to start by really understanding yourself—your preferences, personality, values, how your brain works, everything! One of these first steps is learning how you perceive and determine your actions within the world by understanding your cognitive functions.

So, let's dive in! As always, I understand the world through memes, so here we go!

Meme: Left Image - Fe: Extroverted Feeling, I am so proud of this community; Right Image - Fi: Introverted Feeling, You wouldn't get it

But how does each of these feel?

Left - Fe - Buzzing all around the skin of a pen body drawing; Right - Fi - Buzzing at the core — Using feeling to describe feeling feels wrong, but I do what I want!

For what appears to me to be the most talked-about cognitive functions, there were not many memes, and I was disappointed! Fine...let's dive in!

The Misconceptions

First things first—I have written about cognitive functions and cognitive stacks elsewhere, so if you need an introduction or a refresher, check those posts out first because we are getting into the weeds.

Let's start by getting rid of some misconceptions. The first one is that if it isn't listed in your profile, you don't use it. If you have a Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) profile or a similar system that doesn't list Thinking as a function (like ISFJ or ESFP), you still use Thinking! This is the biggest issue with anything that looks like an MBTI result - we think because it isn't in our four letters, we can't or don't use it. Wrong! We all use an Intuition function; we just might not default to it as easily as others.

Here is another misconception - if Extroverted Thinking (Te) is listed in your cognitive stack, then you don't use Introverted Thinking (Ti). Wrong! You also use both function attitudes (such as Introverted Thinking and Extroverted Thinking). Just because a function isn't in your cognitive stack doesn't mean you don't use it - you simply don't use it as often or as easily.

Last misconception - MBTI, 16Personalities, and anything based on Carl Jung's cognitive functions explains everything about your personality. Nope! Jung developed these cognitive functions as an explanation for the different ways of perceiving and making decisions in the world; they are not behaviors or skill sets - they are preferences. This is why two ISTJs could meet and be two very different people. They will have a lot of overlap, but they won't be the same person.

So...What Is a Feeling Function? Extroverted Feeling vs. Introverted Feeling

Here we go, the Feeling function and its function attitudes (introversion vs. extroversion). First, Feeling functions are how we make value-based decisions in the world. If Thinking is the rational, black-or-white, data-based decision-making function, then Feeling is a whole lot more gray.

If there is one generalization I can make about people with a Feeling function in their top two cognitive functions, it is that they will default to how they feel about a situation to make decisions, and it takes a lot of data to overcome this. Those who default to Thinking often think that Feeling types are being irrational, while Feelers believe that data can not decide everything. Why would we use data when my gut tells me something isn't right?!

Feelers often tend to be quite empathetic, either by linking their inner feelings to the feelings of others or by being incredibly aware of the feelings of others.

Here are some pop-culture feelers!

Joy from the Pixar movie "Inside Out." — In the movie "Inside Out," Joy wants to ensure Riley is happy and content and will make decisions toward that end, often despite the data. How others are feeling guides her decision-making.

Luna Lovegood from the Harry Potter series. — Luna Lovegood from "Harry Potter" kind of does her own thing. She makes decisions based on how much a person or an action aligns with her internal values.

This is the first point at which we realize that we all use Feeling functions to some extent—everyone assigns value to objects and actions. Where we differ is in our preference for utilizing Feeling in our decision-making.

Every cognitive function can be Introverted or Extroverted. We call this the "function attitude." A brief crash course on the difference (you can read a more in-depth dive here) is that an introverted attitude focuses more on the self, while an extroverted attitude focuses more on how others are experiencing things. Introverted functions tend to focus energy on the individual's experience (the "subject" in Jung's writing), while Extroverted functions tend to focus outward toward others and the current moment (the "object" in Jung's writing). So what does this mean for the Thinking function and its function attitudes? Here it is in a nutshell:

Extroverted Feeling (Fe) makes decisions about the world using the collective values of groups. This type of decision-making is more concerned with what is best for the group. They also know what the community is feeling. (Determining what is good or bad, or liked or disliked, based on environmental and cultural (group) standards)
Introverted Feeling (Fi) is more focused on making decisions based on their internal blueprint of how things should be. Outside experiences are compared to the individual's personal values, and value judgments are assigned from the inside. They know what they are feeling. This sounds selfish, but Fi users have a reason for why they feel the way they do and often have strong values and morals to back up this reasoning. (Determining what is good or bad, or liked or disliked, based on natural and internal (individual) standards)

You look like you need a meme or three! Here are some from the r/personalityinOrder subreddit for your consideration.

Introverted Feeling; "Stay true to yourself"; Fi considers first and foremost what is important to them and their values; Values the uniqueness in self and others; Weird is a compliment; Values honesty; things should be done because you want to do them — Introverted Feeling

Extroverted Feeling; "Have courage and be kind"; Fe is in tune with the values and emotions of its surroundings, Strives to harmony; Sees that a certain amount of individuality should be sacrificed to avoid unnecessary conflicts; Often altruistic and bit of a pleaser; Excellent social skills — Extroverted Feeling

In reality, extroverted feelers aren't blind conformists without any own values. They're simply sensitive to embrace many "social roles." But those roles aren't some fake masks that hide the true values of a person, but rather are part of the true values. Introverted Feelers are far from selfish. They value honestty and prefer to speak their mind, but they sure as hell don't mind others doing so as well. They appreciate others as they are, and they mean what they say.

Feeling - A Caution!

Oftentimes, Feelers are portrayed as being pushovers. Do not make this mistake! Both Extroverted Feelers and Introverted Feelers are strong individuals who make exceptional advocates for groups and causes. If there is a Feeler in your social group or your organization and they are speaking up, you would be wise to listen to them and take them seriously. Feelers are like a social barometer for your group - we ignore them to our detriment.

Feeling in the Real World - How We Observe the Feeling Functions and Our Cognitive Stack

Now that we have established that everyone uses a Feeling function (either Fe or Fi), you can't escape this fact—it is your reality. But who uses Fe vs. Fi, and where does it land in their cognitive stack? I got you. Here is a breakdown of every type and where their Feeling function lands in their cognitive stack.

Extroverted Feelers (Fe)
- ESFJ: Fe-Si-Ne-Ti
- ENFJ: Fe-Ni-Se-Ti
- ISFJ: Si-Fe-Ti-Ne
- INFJ: Ni-Fe-Ti-Se
- ESTP: Se-Ti-Fe-Ni
- ENTP: Ne-Ti-Fe-Si
- ISTP: Ti-Se-Ni-Fe
- INTP: Ti-Ne-Si-Fe
Introverted Feelers (Fi)
- ISFP: Fi-Se-Ni-Te
- INFP: Fi-Ne-Si-Te
- ESFP: Se-Fi-Te-Ni
- ENFP: Ne-Fi-Te-Si
- ISTJ: Si-Te-Fi-Ne
- INTJ: Ni-Te-Fi-Se
- ESTJ: Te-Si-Ne-Fi
- ENTJ: Te-Ni-Se-Fi

Based on this list, we can assume that we will see similarities among personalities that share Feeling attitudes. The amount that you will see these behaviors in individuals depends on where the function lands in their cognitive stack. So, while an ESFJ and INTP will both use Fe, an ESFJ will exhibit Fe stronger than an INTP. These are just generalities, but here we go...

Extroverted Feeling
- Quickly picks up on the emotions and needs of others, often feeling what others feel.
- Makes decisions based on the consensus or what will benefit the group as a whole. This includes calling out behavior that breaks group norms.
- Values feedback and approval from others and often aligns actions with group norms and expectations.
- Can easily adjust behavior to fit the social environment and the expectations of others.
- Tends to be open and expressive with their own emotions, sharing feelings freely to build connections.
Introverted Feeling
- Prioritizes staying true to one's own values and feelings, regardless of external pressures or expectations.
- Experiences strong, internal empathy, often having a deep understanding of their own and others' emotions.
- Makes decisions based on personal values and what feels right to them, rather than group consensus or what others feel is right for them.
- Relies on inner moral compass and personal principles rather than seeking approval from others.
- Maintains consistent personal values and ethics across different contexts and situations.
- Willing to face and engage in conflict if it means standing up for personal beliefs and values.
- May be more private and selective about sharing emotions, revealing feelings only to those they trust deeply.

Neat!... What Do I Do With This?!

Okay, cool. I see this—now what? How do I use it? Great question! What follows are some simple suggestions and are neither universal nor complete. If you want to get really in-depth, reach out, and let's start working together.

Let's go one function attitude at a time, starting with Fe. Fe users should seek careers that allow them to apply their strong interpersonal skills, empathy, and ability to foster social harmony. These individuals excel in roles that require collaboration, communication, and emotional intelligence. They thrive in environments where they can support others, build relationships, and create positive group dynamics. Consider careers where you can interact with people, mediate conflicts, and promote well-being (such as counseling, human resources, teaching, social work, and public relations). Fe users are driven by the desire to help others and are adept at creating inclusive and supportive environments. Look for roles that present opportunities to work in teams, engage with communities, and advocate for collective needs. Also, look for jobs where you can lead with compassion and motivate others. While Fe-users are often found in fields like healthcare, education, and customer service (which is true), this does not mean you need to take a traditional job to flex your Fe! Fe users also thrive as community organizers, event planners, nonprofit leaders, and in political roles. Caution: Fe users should be aware that they may be prone to doing what others feel they should do, or their interpretation of what others feel they should do. Fe users especially need to take time to make sure they are making good decisions for themselves and not what others expect from them.

All right, Fi users - your turn! Fi users should seek careers that allow them to stay true to their personal values and express their individuality. These individuals excel in roles that require introspection, ethical decision-making, and a deep understanding of human emotions. They thrive in environments where they can work independently, pursue meaningful goals, and make a difference based on their convictions. Consider careers where you can engage in creative expression, advocacy, and personal development (such as writing, art, therapy, social work, and environmentalism). Fi users are driven by authenticity and are adept at creating work that resonates with their inner principles. Look for roles that present opportunities to champion causes, develop personal projects, and inspire change through your unique perspective. Also, look for jobs where you can align your work with your values and make an impact. While Fi-users are often found in fields like the arts, counseling, and activism (which is true), this does not mean you need to take a traditional job to flex your Fi! Fi users also thrive as entrepreneurs, independent creators, ethical consultants, and in roles that require a strong moral compass.

I saved Feeling for last because, frankly, I'm not that great at it. I use Introverted Feeling in my fourth cognitive slot, meaning I have to dig deep to tap into this function. Native Feelers (especially INFPs) are amazing to me. They have convictions and understand what their emotions are telling them. Feelers seriously make the world go round.

That wraps things up for my deep dive into cognitive functions. I hope you enjoyed these as much as I enjoyed writing them. We'll see you in the next post!

With love,

Tom Chapman, TruePath Discovery Coaching

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