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At some point, being a unique person became a four-letter word. Don't be unique - you won't get a job! In my work as a career coach, I can't tell you how much of what I do is helping unique people escape careers that don't fit them. If nothing else, it will save you time to accept who you are as early as possible. Essentially, you are weird - embrace it!
A few months ago, I was listening to The Daily Stoic podcast, and host/author Ryan Holiday dedicated an entire episode to this. Here is a great quote:
One of the worst things a human being can do with this rarest of rarities is to give it up. To not be our singular selves.
Don't be someone you aren't! Your strength is who you are. The great CliftonStrengths Talent Assessment speaks to this as a guiding philosophy. If we try to be someone we are not and only focus on shoring up our weaknesses (perceived or actual), then we will ignore our great strengths. And, no matter how much you focus on your weaknesses, they will never be as powerful as your strengths, and then you have just underdeveloped your strengths. Reflect on who you are and then tap into what sets you apart.
This is the core of my work with my clients and my writing about personality, values, and direction. If nothing else, I help my clients accept that they are naturally amazing people and then discover how they can create their corner of the world that resonates with them. What are your values? How do you make decisions? How do you perceive the world? What behaviors and situations are you most comfortable with? Are your preferences in one-to-one connection or in establishing what works for you? These are all important.
And if you are a weird person, you MUST embrace it! We actually need you to embrace it. You are where the good ideas and the ground-breaking initiatives come from. This is why I reach out to those I try to help: creative individuals, out-of-the-box thinkers, and unique personalities. In another post, I pointed out that, based on the best available statistics, only 0.09% of the population has the same MBTI and Enneagram combination as me. I have a 1 in 1000 chance of meeting someone similar to me. But this doesn't take into account my unique values or the fact I have ADHD. We all bring something so unique to the world. The challenge is finding out where to place our unique combinations of strengths, skills, and values.
This is your value. It is also where the fun is. When we pretend to be someone we are not, it is like reliving middle school all over again. Do you know anyone who wants to relive that period in their life? Then why would we choose that experience to be who we are for the rest of our lives?!?! Stop pretending to be other people - just be you.
Now, a quick caveat - don't be a jerk. No one likes that guy. Being yourself is not an excuse to be a bad person. We definitely have enough of those in the world.
If you are curious to learn more, let me know. I specialize in taking this confusing amalgam of personality and turning it into a life and career. One of my greatest joys is to help you find your place in the world.
We'll talk to you again soon.
With love,
Tom Chapman, TruePath Discovery Coaching
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